I did it! I remade my website!

I have gone back and reorganized my website. From now on I will separate my work by year.
In doing this, I realized that I didn't draw or paint for the entire year of 2014. Isn't that crazy that I never realized that was happening? I'm waiting for a lost sketchbook to show up or something. 
I think the new website format is here to stay.
I need to think of a new way to approach this blogging thing. 

Statue

If you move slowly enough then no one will see it
They'll assume you're a statue and will hardly believe it
When they turn back to their plate and find only crumbs

Sunday

Why is it so easy to do nothing on a Sunday
It's the perfect time of week to turn into a fun-day
But I always seem to turn it into a none-day

So ya got jokes...

Practical Jokes are all in good fun.
I put ink on James' seat and now he has a black bum. 
He farted on my pillow and now I have a fat stye. 
James went too far, now he has a black eye.

Feeling Words

Cats claws on the inside of your thigh.
Your testicles on an anvil. Hammer applied.
 

Words, but you can feel them.

Remembered tastes of Warheads. Saliva fills your mouth. 
The annoying inner itch of a yeast infection south.
Overwhelming anger. A crying baby on your plane.
You always cum too early. Overwhelming shame.


    Whats the matter? They are just words.

Daughters out past midnight. No text, no call, no phone.
Your girlfriends getting laid but you're at home alone.
Stranger at a bar keeps looking up your dress.
Introduced to a preteen, caught looking at her chest.
People talking about you, so loud that you can hear.
You slip and say "That's gay!" You alienate a queer.
You are getting fingered and have a queef that shakes the earth.
You laugh so hard you cry. Nine months later a still-birth.

Stop. Please stop.

                     Too many words?
                  I can't take anymore.
 

Yellowstone

Bloody cigarettes and purple rocks.
Climbs so steep they make you feel soft.
Sulfuric pools and clouds of flies.
Is this all really necessary to feeling alive?

Food so bad that your soft guts rot.
Earth so cold t... is it working?
What?... Do you feel alive?
...

Mountains so tall t... Do you feel alive?
That lake made me feel something.  You lie.
Fine, no. It's not working. I've felt nothing. 
                 But I've tried! Isn't that worth something?

You wait for a response. There is none.
You begin to cry.

Post #4 - Portfolio building and bills to pay

Making money photo assisting has been waaaaay easier than making money as a photographer so far.  Ya know, though, I feel like the biggest barriers are mental barriers. It's never been an easy thing for me to value my work if it doesn't involve carrying around 35 Ibs sandbags. I'm starting to BELIEVE i'm a good photographer though, and I'm starting to feel alright about selling my product.  I feel like i'm still not ready to take on the commercial photography gigs that I assist on, but I've been eyeing the actor/actress headshot photography market for a while now and I feel like Atlanta is surprisingly weak in this field for how quickly it's movie scene is growing. So I'm making a headshot portfolio now. I've compiled all of the shots I've taken already that could be considered headshot's and it's not enough, so I'm reaching out to friends and will be doing some free headshots for the next week or two to get a nice book going. This kind of work is great for me because I'm already really accustomed to lighting people and headshots are really only a more rigid form of portrait photography, which is my primary interest. Very excited about it.

A huge incentive to turn my photography into a profitable venture has been my huge overhead on this studio apartment. As an assistant, I can work ten days a month and have all of my overhead paid with a nice little living wage on the side, but it doesn't really offer any money to grow my business with, ya know? I need more money for heads and lenses. Also I'd like to go out with my friends more and not have to worry as much about buying a few beers or a concert ticket. All of this stuff definitely weighs on the mind, but I feel like I am so close to realizing that financial bump, and I am pushing hard now to reach it. 

The other day I recorded the first video I've ever made of myself dancing without a partner. That probably seems weird if you consider I've danced for eight years, but until recently I've always been really uncomfortable dancing without a partner. I think I'm starting to let go of that fear, I'm really proud of this video!  I made it on a photo shoot last weekend when my photographer left me to guard our next shooting location; the acoustics in that tunnel were amazing :) So without further delay...


Post #3 - Happy Times

I have been creating a ton of content lately. I'm drawing, I'm taking photos, I'm writing poetry, I'm doing so many things and it has been making me very happy :) I see huge progress in my work and am coming into a really interesting way of journaling in my sketch book lately. I'm excited to get that stuff up on my website and share it with you soon. 

I've shot at least a thousand photos per weekend for the past month, mostly just photos of me hanging out with my friends, and it has been very inspirational. I'm producing great shots and that is feeding me to take more shots. 

I'm a bit tired so you'll have to excuse me, I've not had a lot of time to journal or spend at home sense all of my days off have been going to my internship. I'll try to write a proper entry here soon, but if I don't get around to it, you should check out my sketchbook pages for the months of February and March of 2015 once I put them up, because these have been some transformative times. 

Here is a photo I took this past weekend that I liked a lot :)

I hope everything is going well in your life, reader :) 

Post #2 - Changes are a'comin'

Hey Blog, 

I've been feeling my artistic earth moving and shaking under my feet lately. I'm not sure where it's going to land, but i'm taking more and more inspiration from photographers that are not into editorial or fashion  and I've really loved it. I'm rebuilding my website to reflect these changes.

I don't want to build a career just taking pictures of pretty people posing, ya know? My friend Cate introduced me to Elliot Erwits work the other day and I have not been able to shake the inspiration he filled me with. Just look at his stuff, this guy knows how to capture a moment. 

 

Moments like these; you cannot ask a model or models to make them for you. I'm not sure HOW I want to go about capturing them, but I know that they are my end goal in photography. If I can find an effective way to induce them in a studio environment that would be handy. Otherwise, I think I really need to get out there in the world with my camera more and figure out how to spot these moments when I see them-- how to feel them coming and know how to cultivate them. I dunno, this could all be a 2am musing, but it feels pretty real to me right now. I'm not shirking portrait or editorial photography at all, don't get me wrong, but I do want to continue to let these new influences affect me. 

Wilder

This is the first day of my blog

Hi Blog :) 
My name is Wilder and I want to write to you every now and then to keep you up to date on what I've been doing with my creative work.  

Wilder.jpg

Here is a picture of me I took in college. My classmates thought it was only okay, but I like it a lot.  I have been sporting shorter hair since then and have learned a great deal more about editing photos. I doubt I'd ever process this photo the same if I took it today, but it is a good little time capsule of the height of my ability in intro photo. 

I love photography, but it is not my only form of art. I want to post images here of my sketchbook drawings, my paintings, videos of my dancing, and other forms of expression I get into. I don't know if anyone will ever read you, blog, but if they don't then we'll just change your name to journal and still consider you a massive success.

Talk soon,  Wilder